Friday, February 12, 2010

I'm Still Not Sure, But I'll Keep Trying

Thank you for your many thoughtful and interesting comments on my last post - I didn't realize that so many of you were actually reading, and I really appreciate your support and kindness. I'll try to keep posting, although it's hard right now - I feel that since I'm not posting about Miranda that I'm not being completely honest here, which I want to be. If my daughter says it's OK, I may try to overcome my discomfort with posting about Miranda, which isn't just due to privacy issues - it's also just plain disconcerting to be facing a situation where you don't know what the outcome is going to be and how to get from point A to point B, and where one's (my) sense of competence is pretty plainly called into question (certainly by me if no one else).

* * * * * *

We've been having a whole series of beautiful days after our recent snow. Very cold - overnight temperatures in the single digits F with wind chills at or below zero. But bright sun and not too much wind - we'll take it! Yesterday was a beautiful morning - glorious sunset, with faint blues, peaches and yellows across the eastern horizon - I wish I could draw with pastels - they would have been perfect for our sunrise. We still have about a foot of snow - the horses are very happy with this. This morning the sunrise was more vivid - oranges and reds, and every bush, tree and grass stalk was coated with frost - the ice fans are back on the gates and pumps, although my camera wouldn't work because it was so cold.

I'm actually enjoying the cold and light, although I'm glad the horses and I have finally trod some paths to the turnouts (we usually don't plow or shovel because it often turns to ice), so we (or make that I) don't have to work so hard walking through the snow.

Oh, and Nina of Adventures With Super Sam has won the (long-ago) anniversary giveaway! If I can get my act together, it'll be on its way soon to her.

15 comments:

  1. I replied to the post below but just wanted to add: it's definitely nice to be part of blogging community, if we could name one as such. Hope the snow doesn't tire you too much, it's still very cold here but no white stuff thankfully.
    Wiola

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  2. I'm glad you've decided to keep on posting. I didn't comment on the last post, I didn't have much to say that hadn't already been said, but I really enjoy reading your blog.

    I do hope that you write about Miranda. It's a learning experience for everyone. I believe that no matter the outcome, we can learn something from every horse. Even if the lesson is just in what doesn't work. I also believe that the difficult horses have the most to teach us. Miranda certainly has a lot to teach and everyone who reads this blog can benefit from that.

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  3. Glad to see you're back posting. It's up to you whether you feel like doing any posts on Miranda. As Shannon said even though we never know the outcome of working with our horses we still have a lot to learn be it good or not so good. Learning experiences come along everyday.

    You seem to like your cold weather. I can understand the clear beautiful days and colorful sunrises and sunsets, but frankly I've had about enough. Hope it warms up soon.

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  4. I am glad you are back! :) I have missed your posts.

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  5. I also hope you'll post again about Miranda, as I am genuinely interested in her story. Please don't feel your competency has been called into question. I think she is just bonded exclusively to your daughter right now -- she probably (rightly) views your daughter as the person who saved her. She hasn't been able to trust people in a long time, and learning to trust your daughter doesn't necessarily mean she'll generalize that to being able to trust all people. I think she'd learn to trust you too, given the same amount of time as she's had with your daughter, and that would probably be good for her to learn that more people than just your daughter are trustworthy -- however, as you mentioned, you only have her for a short while.

    I'll be thinking calm, trusting thoughts for you and Miranda, and hoping for the best between the two of you.

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  6. I agree with the others about your posting about Miranda. Difficult horses challenge us all--my Tucker is a perfect example--and our successes and failures can be learning experiences for everyone.

    Whatever bad things happened to Miranda before your daughter had her are all going to take some time to be overcome.

    I did not correct my PJ for his in the stall attacks for over a year. Then one day, he made a move to attack me and I threw a brush at him purely in self-defense. When he looked at me in shock and put his ears up as if to say, "whoops...sorry about that," I knew we had conquered the worst of his behavior problems.

    Hopefully, your understanding will help Miranda conquer her fears in time. I, for one, will be cheering you on, and appreciating all your insights along the way.

    As for the weather, I am tired of the cold. Here in NJ, we are not used to lengthy spells of cold and snow like this. Guess it takes that Midwest fortitude to really appreciate winter. *lol*

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  7. Its your blog, post about what you want to ,but if you do post about Miranda ,remember we are always learning with horses,and I for one would be happy to learn along with you. We all have "that horse"that comes along to shake our confidence ,the trick is to learn and to keep trying

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  8. Hey Kate! Thanks for posting today. It appears that we all feel pretty much the same way... Your words make for good reading...always very informative/educational. Of course it is your call...what does your daughter think? I have great confidence in you. Also, Miranda needs the understanding of a person with your experience.

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  9. I agree with fernvalley that we are always learning. If I waited to post until all my problems were solved, I would have no blog :-)

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  10. Your honesty reflects my life with Washashe mare...I truly do get discouraged with a horse that is so predictably- unpredictable...and if I take it personally so..it makes me want to remain silent here. I do my best and though some critise me, harshly so...they may not know the details of my horse, and if they care not to know and judge..forget em!
    She is not my mistake...and her personality is so sensitive...she does revert to keeping herself safe and I am in the way sometimes..so it does seem personal. More time with her has given me more understanding..and YOU have helped me immensely, Kate.

    I believe Wa mare and I have been destined to be together...as frustrating as it IS for me not to live my Eventing dream while I am in good health-younger- I am content to have a beautiful mare that needs an understanding leader.
    We do find some pretty good times and some pretty good friends to help us train along the way.

    I love your blog! Please continue...your insight and understanding heart for the horse is refreshing!
    XO
    KK

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  11. Glad you're back. Blogging may start out as one thing, but as time goes on, it becomes another--you can see that there's a real sense of community surrounding yours. Horse people are drawn to each other.

    I wish you luck with Miranda. I have a pony (had her two years) who I still have not been able to get past the SEVERE abuse issues. I'll have to videotape her so you can see what I mean. Anyway, she's going to be my focus again for a while, so I'll also have an unknown outcome. I used to think you could get ANY horse past abuse with enough love and good leadership, but this one has tested that theory for me.

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  12. I haven't commented yet in regards to your decisions to blog or not to blog. But just from strictly personal point of view - no matter what you write about it it's entertaining and I for one learn a lot about it.

    I see similarities between your horse experiences and mine, however even though I've been riding all my life (almost literally) I've never actually "trained" or dealt with "training issues". I get good insight on different things to try with Rosie and Bonnie from your postings.

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  13. I've always enjoyed reading and didn't comment on the last post because I think the decision is up to you, but I'm glad you decided to keep writing. I know what you mean about your hesistancy to write about something when you don't know what the outcome will be. I've found myself from time to time waiting to see how something turns out before writing about it. But maybe we shouldn't, because maybe it's even better to memorialize the steps along the journey. I've often found that writing about something helps me figure out how I feel about it and what I want to do.

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  14. Whether or not you blog about Miranda, I hope you'll continue :)

    Sounds like you had a beautiful day where you are!

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  15. I can kind of feel what you're going through in regards to posting about tough sensitive choices, especially when they break your heart and make you sad. It's scary to consider that some people might be judgemental or critical of your decisions.
    But noone can understand fully unless they are in your shoes.

    It took me over a week to post about me selling Baby Doll. Part of it was that it made me so sad to even think about it, brought me to tears every time. I needed some time to heal and wrap my mind around her being gone.
    I also was afraid that some people, those who think of horses as pets and that once you get one, they must be with you for life (that kind of mentality) would criticize me or think less of me for selling my horse.

    Thankfully noone has...or they've not left me a comment saying so anyway.

    But I knew it was the right decision. I wasn't doing my horse any favors just by keeping her a pasture ornament. She was only 16 yrs old and in great condition and needed to work. She needed a confidant owner who wouldn't fall for her bad spoiled behavior of pinned ears, crow hopping, bolting, spinning, and barn sourness, and that would make her work.
    Baby Doll needed an owner that would allow her to release her alpha personality and allow her owner to be alpha.

    Anyway, I know now it was the right decision, although it was very very difficult for me to finally make.

    I kind of wish I could have blogged about it right away, but I did need time to heal first.

    You just have to do what feels right for you and your daughter.

    No matter, your readers will still stop by to visit and read your blog. You have a lot to say, and we all want to hear. :)


    ((HUGS))
    ~Lisa

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